


14 Signs It's True Love

by moffwithhishead



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Dean, Established Relationship, Fallen Castiel, Fluff and Angst, Human Castiel, M/M, One Shot, Submissive/Bottom Dean, brief mentions of inias and his garrison as humans, kinda I guess idk it's a trust thing shhhhhh, nonlinear story, there's smut and stuff in here okay, thoughts catalog gives me a lot of ideas okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 09:43:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moffwithhishead/pseuds/moffwithhishead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's complicated, okay? Cas gets a cat, Dean eats cake, Charlie's a saint, Cassie is lovely, Dean helps Cas learn how to be human, Dean hates flying, couples exercising and promises of blowjobs, Dean is secretly a sap, "I do /not/ miss you", first date where Dean can't stop calling Cas the b-word.</p><p>(Or fourteen stories about Dean and Cas being in love and gross and cute and I'm sorry I suck at summaries)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loyal

**1\. You feel compelled to be loyal**

It's complicated. That's the answer anyone who asks Dean about his relationship since he fell has gotten - " _it's complicated, okay?"_ or " _Did I fucking ask for your opinion?"_ or " _I trust him, yes_."

It seems to be the last one that throws people the most. Especially people like Garth who know a lot of the story but don't know all of it - both brothers get questions from hunters about Cas' brief stint as a deity and they're all answered with thinly veiled threats. Because at the end of the day, whether he's sleeping with Dean or not, **Cas is family**. For better or worse, he is a Winchester now, a real one, and there's a fair amount of worse that comes with being one of them but Dean can say with absolute certainty that Winchesters are fiercely loyal.

So, yes, the guy he's in love with broke the world once or twice - big whoop. He's also saved it more times than they can count. After everything they've been through, even with all the bullshit and all the reasons the universe has given Dean to not trust Cas, he still does. Because it's Cas, man. It's Cas... and it's _complicated_. 


	2. Selfless and Selfish

**2\. You think of ways you will love them more than you think of the ways you hope they will love you**.

Not that Dean knows anything about going from an angel to a human, but he imagines that it's stressful - being born a human is stressful but at least you have parents to teach you things, so imagine how hard it must be to be born as a 30-something year old man who's supposed to already know all these things. 

So he takes it upon himself to try and make the transition to being human at least a little easier. He brings Cas breakfast in bed the morning that they take him to the dentist to make sure that his angel mojo didn't royally fuck up his teeth. The first time Cas needs a haircut, Dean lets him pick out whatever place he wants to go, no matter how much it costs (and it ends up costing a lot, incidentally). On the third Thursday in September, Dean makes Cas a cake and his favorite burgers for his self-appointed birthday and gives him a blow job in the shower that morning before they face the world. He rubs Cas' back without being asked and he learns how to make coffee exactly the way that Cas likes it. He even goes to church with him when Cas tells the brothers that he wants to go to the Sunday mass at a church by the bunker. He holds his hand and pretends not to notice when Cas cries during the communion, just squeezes his hands a little to let him know he's there.

Dean teaches him to drive with the patience that he never awarded Sam and shows him how to cook with enthusiasm that even he didn't know he had. He rubs Cas' feet after a long hunt and buys his favorite flowers when they fight because he loves the way that they make Cas smile. He holds him during the nightmares and loves him for who he is, mistakes and imperfections and socks that never seem to match, in all. And when he feels like they're both ready, Dean proposes, not because he feels the overwhelming desire to go through the whole circus of a wedding (they have each other and he's secure enough to know that neither one of them is going anywhere), but because Cas told him one time when he got drunk that he wished they could get married in a church.

He does all this stuff without expecting anything in return because Cas has already given him the best thing he could've asked for - he's still here, with Dean.


	3. Compromise

**3\. You start compromising on things you thought you wouldn’t.**

It starts with the tapes in the Impala - they find a secondhand store that has a giant tape selection and Dean makes the mistake of letting Cas browse in there for the better part of an hour. He comes out with a bag that's about the size of Dean's duffle and it's filled with tapes that the hunter never, ever would've picked out if you paid him. "Dean," Cas grins excitedly, "They were having a sale! Buy one tape, get two free. It was a very good deal so I figured that perhaps I should take advantage of it." They listen to an Nsync tape on their way back to the bunker that has Cas dancing in the front seat. Dean wonders if maybe, just maybe, shotgun doesn't always have to shut their cakehole. 

The next thing is holding hands. They're talking to a witness about a case when suddenly he feels Cas' hand slide into his and twine their fingers together - don't get Dean wrong, he loves holding Cas' hand! Just... not in the middle of an interview. But when he looks over to glare at Cas or to tell him to knock it off or something, he sees his friend smiling as the witness describes a clown chasing a man down the street with a balloon animal. Cas' smiles are still not something Dean has gotten used to, so he lets this one slide and grips Cas' hand tighter. This time.

Cas loves Dean, but Cas? He doesn't love pie nearly as much as Dean does. He prefers... he prefers _cake_. So when they're at the supermarket getting the ingredients to make Sam's birthday dinner and Cas holds up a cake mix even though Dean's already got the stuff to make Sammy's favorite pie, everyone, Dean included, is surprised when he lets Cas get the cake mix and helps him make it later that afternoon. Cake isn't _that_ bad... right?


	4. Fur Ball

**4\. You’re happy when they are, because they are**.

Cas wants a cat. Dean's allergic to cats. It's become a _thing_ at the bunker. Sam and Kevin maintain that they're both neutral in this decision but Dean hears them encouraging Cas to " _keep asking, man, he's just being stubborn_." Traitorous bastards. 

So Dean tries to compromise and takes Cas to a shelter with the promise of letting him pick out a puppy - because, hey, he may not be a huge fan of dogs anymore, but at least they don't make him sneeze 24/7 or make his throat close up. They just... have a tendency to try and kill him. Not something that Dean can't handle. 

But - and sometimes the hunter feels like the universe is conspiring against him - in order to get to the puppy room at the shelter, they have to walk through the kitten room. And, of course, they never make it to the puppy room because the third cage in contains the smallest cat Dean's ever seen and Cas? Yeah, he won't leave the little thing's side. The woman takes the kitten out of the cage for them and as soon as she (the kitten, they learn, is the only girl from her litter) sees Cas, she starts purring. Loudly. And Dean's never seen a bigger grin on Cas' face, ever. And the grin hasn't disappeared in twenty minutes of Dean sneezing and getting progressively more itchy the more Cas plays with the kitten. So... he goes up to the front desk and fills out the paperwork to adopt her.

He can deal with allergies if that little fur ball makes Cas smile like that.


	5. Flying

**5\. There is a sense of peace and ease that comes with the thought of them**.

Dean Winchester is a grown ass man who has stopped the Apocalypse, taken on the Devil himself, beaten angels, monsters, Gods and Goddesses alike, all without batting an eye. But put him on a fucking plane and he's about as useful as sending Cas to kill a spider.

To be completely honest, he's not even sure how he ended up on this plane to begin with. Yeah, okay, he _is_ just going out to visit Sam for the long weekend but... you know... cross country drive isn't that far for two days. Right? Right?! (Okay, no, it is. And even if it wasn't, there's no way Dean could make that drive by himself anymore. And damn, that's depressing as shit to admit to himself...)

"Nervous flier?" The older woman in the seat next to him asks with a kind, apologetic smile. She reminds Dean of the stereotypical grandma and he can't help but smile a little weakly back, "Uh... that obvious?" She pats his knee and chuckles lightly, "Don't worry, dear. I know the pilot. He's a good boy." 

What he wants to say is:  _Yeah lady, that's all well and good, but it doesn't matter how good of a guy he is, if this sucker's going down, we're fucked_. What he says instead is, "Well, that's... good, I guess." 

She grins at him, "Has anyone ever told you that you are a terrible liar?" Dean sputters for a second before the old woman interrupts him again and squeezes his knee a little, "You know, my husband was a nervous flier too. He would have the worst panic attacks and our kids didn't go on a plane until they were adults because he _refused_ to fly anywhere. But he told me once that the handful of times he did fly, that thinking of me and the kids helped calm him down. Maybe you should try thinking of someone you love. Your wife..." She smiles and gestures to the ring on his finger and Dean flushes a little, grinning as his hand goes to play with it on instinct. "Yeah," he clears his throat and gives her a smile, "I think I'll try that. Thank you."

So he tries it - he thinks of Cas' smile when he wakes up in the morning, his hair even more of a disaster area than usual. He thinks about the little pudge he's gotten since they've settled down and about how cute Cas looks in the apron Sam got him as a joke. He thinks about their first kiss and how it had been at the front door of the bunker the night Cas showed up as a human, how warm and solid and _alive_ he'd felt. He thinks about a year ago when he proposed to Cas by sliding his mom's old ring across the table during breakfast without saying anything and how Cas had just smiled a little before he slipped it on and asked Dean to pass the sugar. He thinks about the kitten they got and how sometimes, when he's worked late at the garage, he comes home to find Cas asleep with the kitten on his chest and his glasses half pushed off his face and a pile of books strewn around on the floor. He thinks about Cas in Dean's old batman pj pants this morning, with his hair all messy and his glasses on so he could drive Dean to the airport (he had to work this weekend, the library is shockingly busy over Memorial Day). He thinks about how fucking _beautiful_ Cas looked the day that they got married and he plays with the ring on his finger again, smiling at the memory of catching Cas trying to make it one day. 

The change isn't immediate but about half an hour later, Dean blinks his eyes open and realizes that he fell asleep. He fell asleep on a plane. With a stranger next to him and nobody here for back up. _He relaxed on a plane_. Because just thinking of Cas made him feel like he was home.

 _Fuck_ , he thinks with a small smile, _I'm such a girl_.


	6. Better

**6\. You feel challenged to be better**.

Jimmy - well, no, _Cas_ is a couple years older than Dean (it's his body now, anyway) and even without the angel mojo, somehow, the bastard can run farther and faster than Dean can. Seriously, last month Cas ran five miles and he barely broke a sweat while Dean started to feel like he was dying somewhere around mile three.

It's not that Dean's out of shape, perse, it's just that when you're a hunter, it's more helpful to be physically strong than it is to be fast. And... okay, fine, _maybe_ he's a little out of shape. MAYBE. But you would be to if you'd been in love with your best friend for years and then suddenly not only is he human, but you get to keep him - **_and you get to have sex with him_**. _Lots_ of sex. Lots of really great sex. You look Dean in the eye and tell him that you wouldn't forego a morning jog for sex before breakfast! And then in the shower... and then sometimes in the kitchen after breakfast. They're in love, shut up.

But he is man enough to admit that it's kind of fucking embarrassing that Cas is technically gonna be 39 (don't you **dare** mention how old he actually is) and Dean's _technically_ gonna be 36 (he's still not really sure if that year in purgatory, or hell, counts) and Cas can run faster than he can. Stupid fucking leftover angel mojo. Stupid athletic vessel. _Jerk_.

Which, by the way, is why he's started running with Cas in the mornings. The bastard used to run a six mile trail every morning but he cut it down to five when the hunter joined him even though Dean told him not to (and shit, he should've tried to bargain for four, oh god). The first three weeks sucked absolute ass - and not in the fun way, in the ' _jesus fuck, I'm genuinely surprised this was not a method of torture they used in hell_ ' kind of way. He's gotten a little better, though. Now he can make it to three and a half miles before it feels like his lungs are going to burn out of his body and Cas keeps promising him that by next month, he fully expects Dean will be able to run five miles without stopping.

"Dean," Cas calls as he turns around at the top of the hill, jogging in place and grinning at the hunter who's working his way up slowly, "You coming, old man?" Dean glares openly and flips him off, "You're a dick." 

He laughs a little and stops jogging in place when Dean gets up to the top of the hill, "Perhaps, but you love me..." Cas steps closer and pulls him down into a kiss that Dean returns happily, even though he's still trying to pout. When they pull back Dean's a little dazed and smiling stupidly at Cas, "Yeah... I do." The ex-angel grins, "Good. Now... race you home!" 

He takes off running and Dean groans before starting to jog after him, "You suck!" Cas looks back at him for a second, still grinning, "I was planning on it." 

Dean grins and starts to run faster, laughing when Cas speeds up, "It's on, man!"


	7. Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bottom!dean

**7\. You allow yourself to be vulnerable because you feel accepted unconditionally**.

This, Dean is sure, is what heaven was supposed to be.

Cas adds another finger and fucks Dean open more with his tongue as he starts scissoring motions, his long fingers 'accidentally' brushing against his prostate ever so often. He whimpers in response to each brush and tries to fuck himself back down onto Cas' fingers and tongue. "Patience," Cas growls and moves to nip at the skin where Dean's hip and thigh meet. "You're not ready."

Dean whimpers, silently pleading with him, and his back arches off the bed a little more when Cas adds a third finger but keeps his mouth at the juncture of skin, apparently intent on leaving a mark. "Cas," he groans out as he feels three fingers jab his prostate a little harshly.

"No," is the low growl he gets in response and Dean barely chokes down a sob when Cas does it _again_. 

He feels a hand on his cheek and Dean opens his eyes, not having realized he closed them, to see Cas looking down right pornographic. Their eyes lock and only when Dean feels the fingers leaving him does he break eye contact in favor of whimpering at the sudden emptiness.

"Dean..." Cas' sex rough voice is right next to his ear and the hunter doesn't have to open his eyes to know that Cas is smirking at what a mess he's made of Dean, "Tell me what you want."

"You," he gasps out when he feels Cas' tongue start to tease the rim of his hole again. Dean pushes back against him and moans, "I want you, Cas, _please_."

Cas pulls away for a moment and Dean almost sobs, he misses having the weight on top of him that much. But as soon as that thought passes through his head suddenly Cas is back on the bed and Dean can hear him getting himself ready. The gravelly groan that sounds ripped from Cas' lungs makes Dean moan and kant his hips upwards into nothing, unwilling to open his eyes. "Dean," Cas moans and jesus christ, he's touching himself and yeah, Dean's totally not opening his eyes right now cause he wants this to last, "Tell me what you want me to do to you."

"Fuck me, Cas," Dean babbles out and keeps going. "Please baby, I want you to fuck me. Been wanting you to fuck me all day, baby, please, I can't, I need you Cas, _please_."

There's a definite moan from Cas and Dean opens his eyes when he feels Cas entering him in one motion, not stopping until he was fully in. They each have one hand twined together over Dean's head and Cas kisses his hunter lovingly while they both adjust. It only takes Dean a moment before he starts moving his hips back against Cas, silently asking him for more. 

Their movements are slow and languid, every thrust hitting the right spot in Dean. The room fills with their breathy noises and little awed gasps of each others' names, still amazed that they get to have this. They're getting used to taking their time still; there's no apocalypse waiting outside the door now, they've got their whole lives to do just this. Cas brings their hands up and kisses Dean's knuckles, murmuring in enochian things that the hunter will probably know what they mean (but he doesn't need to because it's Cas, and he knows anyway).

Dean wraps his arms around Cas' neck and pulls him down for a messy kiss, a complete contrast to the rest of this, murmuring an endless stream of " _I love you, I love you, I love you_ " that makes Cas fall over the edge. The fallen angel rests his forehead against Dean's and comes, whimpering against his lips, "Dean, _fuck_." Dean comes after him, an incoherent mess of quiet noises that he's sure aren't even words.

Cas falls on top of him and Dean wraps his arms around his angel, not wanting him to move away just yet. "Thank you," is murmured against the temple of the blue eyed man as Dean starts to fall asleep. Cas smiles to himself and pulls the blankets up over them, waits until the hunter's breathing evens out before responding.

"Thank you for letting me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because dean trusts cas and is secretly a sap, shhh.
> 
> (and what's more vulnerable than this?!)


	8. House

**8\. All of a sudden, you understand why so many people settle down**.

"We should get a house," Dean declares as he walks into the living room and plops down onto the sofa next to Cas. At the slightly incredulous look that earns him Dean laughs a little, "I'm serious, we should get a house. A real house. Like Bobby had but with less cars."

Cas' lips quirk upwards at that and Dean can tell he's fighting the urge to smirk, "And what would we do with this house, Dean?"

The hunter rolls his eyes and throws his arm around Cas' shoulders, "Open a brothel. What the fuck do you think we'd do with it, smartass, we'd live in it. You know... front lawn, backyard, garage, extra rooms for Sammy and Charlie and Kevin to stay in if they wanted to."

"Dean," Cas smiles a little up at him like he finds the whole idea amusing, "Our home now has all of those things."

"Well, I'm not saying let's go out and buy a house tomorrow, man," Dean rolls his eyes. "I'm just saying, you know..." He shrugs nonchalantly and gestures around the room that they turned into the TV room, "Eventually... you know... we should get a house. Cause this place is home and it's fucking awesome but it's not... y'know..."

He looks over at Cas expectantly and laughs nervously when he sees the smile on his face because he knows Cas isn't going to say anything until Dean finishes his thought, "It's... not really a great place to raise a kid..."

Cas' smile softens and he looks around the room before laying his head on Dean's shoulder, "Yes... Perhaps we should get a house."


	9. Old Flames

**9\. You have a newfound understanding of and appreciation for your previously detrimental failed attempts at love**.

It's a freak accident when Dean literally runs into Cassie at the supermarket. He's there with Cas doing the grocery shopping for the week and he's trying to talk him out of quinoa ("Dude, I don't even know what that is but whatever it is, it's _definitely_ not worth that much money!") when someone walks into his chest and makes Dean drop the bag of rice in his hand.

"Oh," the woman laughs a little and bends down to grab the bag for him, "Sorry, I wasn't paying -" Cassie finally looks up and smiles, cocking her head to the side, "Dean?"His head whipped around as soon as he heard his name and Dean stammered for a moment before smiling, "Cassie?" 

They stand there for a moment, awkwardly staring at each other, before she laughs and holds up the bag of rice for him to take, "Sorry, I think this belongs to you." Dean smiles and takes it from her before putting it in the cart behind him, "Yeah, thanks." When he turns around, he still has no idea what to say to her but she saves him and gestures at him, "You look good. You look..." Cassie laughs a little, smiling warmly at him, "You look _happy_."

Dean grins to himself, looking down at the ring on his hand, "Yeah... I am." Cassie smiles when she sees the ring and nudges his arm, "Who's the lucky girl that finally got Dean Winchester to settle down?" He looks up and opens his mouth to answer only to be interrupted by a pouting Cas walking up next to him with the package of quinoa. "Dean, I don't understand why you won't get this. It's good for you and you really need to watch your cholesterol more." 

Cassie gives Dean a look when she sees the ring on Cas' finger and it's a curious one instead of anything else, "Yeah, Dean, you should watch your cholesterol." Cas nods at her and gestures back to his hunter, "Yes, see, she agrees with me." He frowns after a second and turns to look back at her, "I don't know who you are." 

That seems to snap Dean out of whatever trance he was in and he at least has the courtesy to look a little sheepish, "Right, sorry. Cas, this is Cassie. Cassie, this is Cas."

The grin on Cassie's face and raised eyebrows is enough to make Dean blush, mumbling, "Shut up." She laughs a little and shakes Cas' extended hand, "Very nice to meet you, _Cas_." It takes a moment and then realization dawns on him and Cas smiles, "Oh, yes, that Cassie. Very nice to meet you as well." 

" _That_ Cassie?" She arches an eyebrow at Dean and gives him a look that clearly says 'excuse you.' Dean rubs the back of his neck and stammers for a moment, "Uh... you know..." 

“You were his first love,” Cas says it so matter-of-factly, like he’s talking about the weather, and Dean sends a prayer into the universe for something to come and swallow him whole. “He speaks of your time together fondly, I assure you. He says that I should probably thank you for teaching him how to be in a relationship,” the shorter man continues before frowning at Dean, who’s glaring at him. “Are you injured, Dean? You look upset.”

Cassie saves him and puts a hand on Cas’ arm, smiling, “He’s just embarrassed.” A man walks out of the isle behind her, staring at a package of oatmeal, “Honey, is this the right brand?” She looks back and laughs a little before shaking her head, “Babe, I told you, _green_ box.” The guy gives her a thumbs up and goes back down the isle as Cassie turns around, smiling at them again, “I should go help him. It was really good to see you, though, Dean. And it was really good to meet you, Cas.”

“It was good to meet you as well, Cassie,” Cas smiles warmly at her and squeezes his husband’s hand before going to put the quinoa back. Dean smiles and nods a little, “Yeah, it was really good to see you too.” She hesitates for a moment before leaning up and kissing Dean’s cheek, murmuring quiet enough that only the hunter can hear, “I’m really glad you’re happy, D,” before turning on her heel quickly and going back down the other isle where her husband is waiting.

Dean finds Cas a couple aisles over staring dejectedly at the quinoa; he walks up behind him quietly and wraps his arms around the slimmer man’s waist as he kisses the sensitive bit of skin behind Cas’ ear, “Hey... you really want that stuff?” 


	10. Charlie is a Saint

**10\. Every part of this person enamors you. This is especially true in the beginning**.

Charlie loves Dean - sincerely, she does. Him and Sam have become like family to her after her last case with them and she’s spent way more time at the bunker than Dean and Sam probably have combined. Sometimes when the boys don’t have a case, one of them will drive up and get lunch with her or hang out for a weekend - and it’s awesome, she always has a great time with both brothers. But today she’s out to lunch with Dean and he won’t. stop. talking. about. Cas.

She gets it, really, she does. She remembers what it was like when her roommate, Jenna, admitted that she liked Charlie back and she couldn’t shut up about it for like a month. She knows what it’s like to be in that honeymoon phase of a relationship and to think that everything they do is amazing.

But, jesus christ, does Dean _have_ to be such a girl about it?!

“The next time you spend the weekend Char, oh man, you’ve gotta wake him up one morning so you can see his bedhead because I don’t think I’m doing it justice right now,” Dean blathers on as he picks at food. “It’s like fluffy but not really fluffy, kinda like sex hair but worse? It’s easily the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.”

This has been going on for ten minutes. Ten minutes. He’s waxed philosophical about Castiel’s hair for **_ten minutes_**. Charlie deserves a medal for not killing him. 

“Uh huh,” she sips on her Long Island iced tea (she needs alcohol to get through this, leave her alone), and nods absently as the idiot continues to describe Cas’ bedhead. 

Don’t get her wrong, she’s fucking ecstatic that those morons finally got their shit together and resolved some of that UST they had going there. She loves seeing Dean smile like this and she resolves to never ever doubt Castiel again because if he makes her friend this happy, he’s gotta be an okay dude. But, again, she’s only human, and there are only so many things that she actually cares to know about the guy (and what he tastes like, coincidentally, is not one of them). 

“So,” Charlie interrupts him, wondering when Dean started talking about Cas’ inability to work the washing machine and how adorable that is (barf), and leans forward in her chair, “When did you become a chick, man?”

It takes him a moment but when he figures out what she means, Dean grins a little sheepishly down at his beer, “I... I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” Charlie shrugs and steals a fry from his plate, “Again would imply that you had started and stopped at one point. I love you, and I’m thrilled you’re getting laid on the regular, dude, but it has been ‘Cas this’ and ‘Cas that’ since we sat down.”

When she looks up again, she’s both pleasantly surprised and slightly horrified to find Dean Winchester **_blushing_** with the most idiotic grin on his face that she’s ever seen. He clears his throat and shrugs after a moment, “Sorry. I’m just...” Dean trails off and takes another swig of his beer.

Charlie knows where that sentence was going. God damn it.

“Fine,” she sighs dramatically and closes her eyes for a moment. “Keep talking about how grossly in love and happy you are.”

Dean beams, actually beams, and starts talking about how he got Cas to watch Star Trek with him last night, the JJ Abrams movie (Charlie can forgive him for that only because she has Dean’s first season of TOS at home), and how Cas practically fell in love with Spock and this morning when Dean was leaving he said ‘live long and prosper.’

She nods along absently with a fond smile on her face - _Well_ , Charlie takes another sip of her drink and fights the urge to sigh, _At least he’s happy_. 

 _Annoying as shit_ , she amends after a moment and grins when Dean shows her how Cas tried to do the Vulcan salute. _But happy_.


	11. Keep Coming Back

**11\. You keep coming back, no matter how hard it gets (and it will get hard)**.

They had a fight - it was about something stupid, Dean’s not even sure what it was about anymore - and Cas left the bunker. Without his phone.

That was five hours ago. Dean’s freaking the fuck out. He knows logically that Cas is human now and that it’s not like he can just take the angel express out of here, but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying for him when they fight like this.

Anybody else who had witnessed the argument would think that it was something normal for them but the truth is that they barely ever fought - sure, they bickered almost constantly, both of them too stubborn to ever admit that the other one was right - but they were never fights. They were always resolved two minutes later with one of them apologizing for being an ass and the other one forgiving them.

But this was... there’d been yelling. There was a broken picture frame on the other side of the library from when Dean got mad and threw his phone, knocking it off the nail that held it into the wall. Words had been exchanged that neither one of them had ever meant to say and at one point, Dean’s pretty sure that he laughed at something Cas said. He _does_ know for sure though that Cas said he regrets giving up being an angel for this life before he grabbed the keys to the Impala and left Dean standing there, flabbergasted and heartbroken. 

He really hopes that Cas doesn’t mean that.

Dean ends up eating dinner alone - it’s the pasta that they made from scratch the other night and he’s extra aggressive with his fork, like he can work out his hurt by stabbing the pasta to death. It doesn’t work that well. When he goes to bed, it’s almost one in the morning, he’s a little drunk and Cas still hasn’t come home. Dean doesn’t sleep very well.

Sometime around three, he hears the bedroom door creak open and the distinctive sound of Cas’ converses walking over to the bed. Dean stays where he is and feigns sleep, too scared that he only came home to get his clothes or something else, that he’s going to leave Dean for good this time.

Instead of any of that, he feels Cas crawl into bed next to him, suddenly only in his boxers ( _Dean’s_ boxers, he remembers momentarily). A tentative arm wraps around Dean a moment later and pulls him close so his back is pressed close to Cas’ chest. “I know you’re awake, Dean,” Cas murmurs after he feels Dean relax against him. “And I’m sure you probably hate me and want me to leave...”

Dean flips around at that, suddenly wide awake, and cups Cas’ face with both of his hands, “No, baby, no, I don’t want that. I don’t ever want that.” He closes his eyes for a moment before laughing only slightly bitterly, “Cas... I could never hate you. Even if I tried... and believe me, I’ve tried,” Dean jokes and opens his eyes to smile at Cas.

Cas looks like he wants to cry when he returns the smile and grips Dean’s arm, “You should hate me.” The hunter shrugs a little flippantly, trying to play it off or at least not have this conversation right now (or ever, if it makes Cas look like this), “Probably. But I’ve never been good at doing what I should do, you know.” Castiel’s laugh sounds a little like a sob so Dean leans forward and catches his lips in a kiss, willing to do anything to stop him from crying.

When they pull back, Cas rests their foreheads together with his eyes closed, “I love you _so_ much, Dean Winchester...” His voice sounds abnormally thick, “And I have never regretted my life with you. I will never regret my life with you, Dean.” Cas smiles a little and opens his eyes, “I would give up my Grace a thousand times over if it meant that I could be here with you, in our bed.”

“You...” Dean knows he probably looks like an idiot, smiling and trying not to cry because he can tell that Cas **_means_** it, but he doesn’t really care. “You’re such a sap,” he laughs a little and hopes it covers up the crack in his voice. “Yes...” Cas smiles and shrugs a little, “I suppose I am.” He moves back and kisses Dean’s forehead before pulling him closer again, so the hunter’s head is tucked into the crook of his neck. They lay there for a while while Cas runs his hand through Dean’s hair, trying to lull him back to sleep. 

The last thing Dean hears before he drifts off is Cas murmuring, “And I will always, _always_ come home to you, Dean. You are my home now. Don’t ever forget that.” He falls asleep with a smile on his face -

Because Cas is _home_.


	12. I do not MISS you

**12\. You start counting the miles between you and the days between your birthdays. You remember what they were wearing the day you met them, what they said their favorite color is, and you start accounting for all the other little, beautiful things you’ve picked up about them, all in vivid detail**.

“But Caaaaaas,” Dean whines into the phone as he lays on their bed in the bunker and stares up at the ceiling. “You said you were coming home tomorrow, not in three days!” He hears the other man huff a laugh on the other end of the phone and scowls, “Don’t laugh at me, asshole. This is serious.”

“Dean,” Cas’ voice comes through the receiver, sounding wholly amused, “If I did not know any better, I would guess that you miss me.”

The hunter scoffs indignantly and rolls his eyes, “What?! I do not **_miss_** you, you dick. I’m just bored. Sammy’s on a job, Kevin’s out with a girl, you’re doin’ whatever with Inias and his friends, Benny’s with a girl, Charlie’s at a convention or whatever, and I’m all alone! I’ve watched everything on the DVR, there’s no jobs anywhere around here, Netflix isn’t working and -” Cas is almost giggling on the other end of the line and Dean growls, “Fuck you, don’t laugh at my pain!”

“Sorry, sorry, I promise, I am not laughing _at_ your pain, Dean,” Cas tries to appease him, but it’s easy to tell he’s trying not to laugh (and failing, miserably, stupid asshole).

“Whatever, dick,” Dean mumbles not un-fondly and fights the urge to pout. “I’m bored and you’re way more fun than sitting in my room, Cas. That’s all.”

Cas hums and is quiet for a moment, the sounds in the background make it seem like he’s moving from one room into another. Dean hears a door shut and, yes, that’s exactly what he was doing. “You know, I could be persuaded to come home early...”

“I’m naked,” Dean blurts out without thinking (and it’s not a total lie, he’s only wearing his underwear). He frowns a little when he hears Cas laugh on the other end of the phone before the other man’s deep voice is in his ear again, “You are incorrigible, Dean Winchester.” 

It’s quiet for a moment, both of them smiling (Dean can tell, he’s always said that he can _hear_ Cas’ smile), before Cas breaks the silence, “I miss you too, you know.”

“Yeah, well...” The hunter grumbles out, “I miss you more.” Dean sighs after a moment and pulls Cas’ pillow closer so he can lay his head on it, “Isn’t four days long enough? I mean, they got to spend your birthday with you and everything, man. Am I chopped liver now?” 

“Why would you be chopped meat?” Cas sounds genuinely confused, “I do not understand that idiom.”

Dean grins, he can’t help it, and shakes his head fondly, “Don’t worry about it, babe. I’ll explain it when you’re home.” He sighs after a moment, “In three days. That is, assuming I don’t die of boredom first.” 

Cas huffs a laugh and Dean can hear him worrying his lip, “You will be fine, Dean.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he mumbles. Someone must stick their head in the room that Cas is in because Dean can hear another unfamiliar voice in the background. Dean can’t help but smile a little when the person makes Cas groan and curse at them in Enochian. “Go hang out with your garrison, Cas, I’ll be fine,” Dean hums and rolls onto his back. “I’m just being dramatic cause I’m bored.”

It takes a moment for him to reply but eventually Cas sighs, “Alright. But you will still call me on Skype tonight.” Cas says it like a command and Dean barks a laugh, “Bossy, bossy, baby...

“But yeah,” Dean’s voice softens, “I’ll call you tonight.”

“Looking forward to it,” is Cas’ warm reply before they hang up.

A couple minutes later Dean feels his phone vibrate and he pulls it up, grinning when he sees Cas’ caller ID picture on his screen with a new text notification.

 _Love you. C_  
Love you too. D  
Now shut up and go have fun with your friends. D


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so fluffy it hurts my teeth but c'mon, what a cute dork.
> 
> DORKY DEAN (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**13\. You want to tell anybody who will listen of your newfound love (you’re not ashamed to be with this person)**.

“Yes,” Dean says as he steps up to the window at the movie theatre and reads the board above the teenager’s head. “I’d like two tickets to Star Trek: Into Darkness. One for me and one for my boyfriend, please.” 

It’s been three weeks since they kissed, two weeks since they talked everything out, and tonight is finally, finally, their first date. And Dean can’t stop telling people that Cas is his boyfriend (even if the word doesn’t feel like nearly enough; ‘mate’ or ‘angel’ or ‘significant other’ or whatever all suck so for now, boyfriend works). He’s so _proud_ of himself for saying it, too, that everyone who’s been informed of their relationship status (Sam, the hostess at the bar they went to, the waiter they had at the bar, the bar tender, the guy who kept checking Cas out, the woman who told them that they were cute, and now the girl printing them their tickets) has only smiled at him. Cas, to be completely honest, has never found Dean more adorable. 

“Hope you and your boyfriend enjoy the show,” she smiles at Dean as she gives him the tickets and Cas can’t help but let out a small laugh at the look on Dean’s face when she says that. It’s somewhere between awe-struck by the word and slightly horrified that anybody besides him would dare call Cas his boyfriend. 

Dean drags Cas up to the concession stand with a dopey grin on his face and calls him baby when he asks if Cas wants butter on the popcorn. When Cas starts walking to the theatre to save them seats he hears Dean tell the kid getting their snacks that “ _My boyfriend’s never been to a movie theatre before. We just watched the first Star Trek last night and he wanted to see the new one so I was like, ‘Of course we’re gonna see it cause I can’t believe you’ve never been in a movie theatre’_.”

There’s not many seats left so when Dean comes into the theatre with the popcorn and soda, he has to awkwardly scoot through half a row of people to get to where Cas was sitting in the middle. “Sorry,” he whispers hurriedly, “Trying to get to my boyfriend.” 

Cas is grinning by the time Dean finally hands him the popcorn and sits down in the seat next to him. He grins even more when the hunter moves the arm rest in between them out of the way so Cas can cuddle closer to Dean and watch the movie like they do at home with the popcorn resting between them on the seat. 

They stay like that through most of the movie, their hands brushing every time they reach for the popcorn. Dean moves his arm around Cas’ shoulders at some point during it and pulls him closer when Scotty tells Spock that he needs to get down there.

By the time the credits roll and most of the theatre has cleared out, Dean and Cas haven’t moved from their seats. “Dean,” Cas sniffles into the hunter’s shirt, “They just love each other _so_ much. Does Spock not understand that Jim saved him because he loves him? How can he not understand?” Dean wipes his face dry and kisses the top of his head before pulling Cas up with him when he sees the kids waiting to clean out the theatre and leading him down the stairs.

“Sorry,” he shrugs helplessly as they walk by, “My boyfriend’s really upset about Kirk and Spock.” One of the kids nods solemnly and holds the door open for Dean, “Aren’t we all?” 

Dean gets them out to the Impala and by the time he starts the car, Cas is leaning against him still but he’s smiling a little. He brushes some loose hair off of his boyfriend’s forehead and smiles, “You okay, baby?” Cas’ smile grows and he nods, “Yes. Let’s go home... there’s something I want to do with my boyfriend.” 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this](http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/14-signs-its-true-love/).
> 
>  
> 
> I got this idea when I read the piece on Thought Catalog and decided I wanted to do something about it. What was supposed to be a short, fluffy one-shot turned into this (and I still have the last one to go!) monster of a thing. They're not exactly a linear story, more like a collection of one-shots from the same universe (or different, if that so pleases you). They're intended to be set in canon but, again, I have my own character preferences and this may be entirely AU for some. The 14th thing will be its own chapter, and I will post that probably in the next couple days but I was really excited to share this, so... I hope you guys like it!
> 
>  
> 
>   
> comments are nice, you know... I'm just saying...  
> 


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